Sunday, January 18, 2015

Friends will come and friends will go

As I have gotten older, moved a few times, switched careers, got married and eventually had 2 little ones, my circle of friends have changed.  
I have never really had a hard time meeting people.  In fact I really enjoy meeting new people.  I am comfortable being in a crowd of once strangers knowing there is a potential for me to meet new people.  
The changes though that I have made in my life has meant that some friends have taken a back burner or even worse have proven to not really be very good friends at all.  It is really sad when I think about it.  I would love to have more time to see people that I haven't seen in a long time but the reality is I have a family.  I have 2 small children and a husband that works a lot.  My evenings are full with dinners, cleaning up, bath time and bed time routines.  The weekends are relaxing but filled with fitting in family time.  
Mike and I rarely spend much time together as a couple and the kids want to spend time with us so that leaves the weekends for playing catch up.  
I have probably mentioned before but we don't have family near by.  It is just us.  We don't have babysitters or friends to help us out with the kids.  It is just Mike and I.  We don't have a grandparent around the corner to drop the kids off to when we want to run to the store by ourselves or grab a drink or go out when last minute plans are available.  
We don't get to go out to the bars and have crazy nights like we once did.  We sneak in a night or 2 when we can but that is just one of us going out.  
All this leads to a loss in some friendships.  We don't get asked to do as much as we used to.  I see on social media sites that friends are out having fun and we didn't get invited.  
And if I am being honest, truly honest it makes me sad.  It makes me sad to see that friends don't include us.  It makes me sad to realize that we have obviously thought of them as much closer friends than they think of us.  
So I guess this is the time in our lives that we are given the rare opportunity to see who's really in it.  Who is going to stand by us through the good and the bad, through the busy times and the more readily available times.  
When you think about it like that it's not all gloom.  Most people go through a good portion of there lives thinking one way about a friendship and then finding out it is something else. 
I get to see first hand what is coming and can cut my ties before I get too hurt.  

So I will wrap up by saying that as we grow we realize that it is less important to have lots of friends and really more important to have real ones.  

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